Friends TV Series is full of Puns and Sarcasm you can’t even Count. We’ve collected the best 50 Puns that will make your day.
1. Monica: Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!
2. Janice: Oh… my… God!
3. Rachel: How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?
4. Ross: You know how you come home at the end of the day and throw your jacket on a chair?
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: Well, instead of a jacket, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of a chair, it’s a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it’s the end of time and garbage is all that has survived.
5. Rachel: Guys, guess what?!
Chandler: Ok, the fifth dentist caved and now they’re ALL recommending Trident?
6. Chandler: WHOOOPAH!
7. Joey: Sure I peed on her. And if I had to, I’d pee on any one of you!
8. Phoebe: He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide!
9. Joey: Here come the meat sweats…
10. Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don’t let you do it.
11. Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don’t input those numbers… it doesn’t make much of a difference.
12. Joey: Well, I’m sorry if I’m not a middle-aged black woman. And I’m also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition.
13. Joey: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the h*mo sapiens were, in fact, H*MO sapiens…is that why they’re extinct?”
Ross: Joey, h*mo sapiens are PEOPLE.
Joey: Hey, I’m not judgin’!
14. Phoebe: Come on Ross, you’re a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
15. Janice: 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.
16. Joanna: Wait, what are you doing?
Chandler: Getting dressed.
Joanna: Why?
Chandler: Well, when I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
17. Phoebe: THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!
18. Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely don’t like the name Ross
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.
19. Joey: It’s a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion; it doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
20. Joey: Uh, uh, we’ll flip for it, ducks or clowns.
Candler: Oh, we’re gonna flip for the baby?
Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air.
Joey: Heads.
Chandler: Heads it is.
Joey: Yess! Whoo!
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!
Joey: Right, okay, okay, uhhh, ducks is heads, because ducks…have heads.
Chandler: What kinda’ scary-ass clowns came to your birthday!?
21. Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck, there was a cave-in in one of the mines.
Chandler: Phoebe, you worked in a mine?
Phoebe: No I worked in a Dairy Queen.
22. Ross: You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.
23. Joey: You’ve been BAMBOOZLED!
24. Joey: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch’s eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Chandler: You think that’s what’s weird? Joey, the man’s been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.
25. Joey: Paper…snow…..a ghost!!!
26. Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and WON!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and CRIED!
27. Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
28. Rachel: Chandler wrote something about me on that paper and I want to see it!
Ross: Chandler isn’t that the short story you were writing?
Rachel: Short story? And I’m in it? I want to read it!
Ross, Joey, Chandler: NO!
Joey: Why don’t you read it to her?
Chandler: It was summer… and it was hot. Rachel was there… A lonely grey couch…”OH LOOK!” cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The End.
29. Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, “You don’t have insurance here so stop calling us.”
30. Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling.
31. Rachel: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?
Ross: Yeah.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so…
32. Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.
Joey: That is so not my motto.
33. Rachel: Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
34. Rachel: Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.
Monica: That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.
35. Pheobe: Je m’appelle Claude
Joey: Jet aplee blooo
36. Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
37. Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That’s not how they measure pants!
38. Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized? ‘Joker’ is ‘poker’ with a ‘J’. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that’s ‘joincidence’ with a ‘C’.
39. Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks she’s like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread, a wonderful Lady MacBeth.
40. Joey: Suppose we’re a divorced couple.
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now, suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.
41. Joey: Raspberries? Good. Ladyfingers? Good. Beef? GOOD!
42. Ross: Chandler. I sensed it was you.
Chandler: What?
Ross: ‘Unagi.’ I’m always aware.
Chandler: Are you aware that unagi is an eel?
43.
Phoebe, Rachel: Danger!
Ross: AHHHHHHHH!
Rachel: Ah, salmon skin roll.
44. Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We’re gonna pick it up and move it. All we need is teamwork, okay? We’re gonna lift the car… and slide it out. Lift… and slide.
Rachel: Ross, I really don’t think…
Ross: Lift… and slide.
45. Joey: Could I BE wearing any more clothes?
46. Joey: JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.
47. Rachel: Hey, just so you know: it’s NOT that common, it DOESN’T “happen to every guy,” and it IS a big deal!
Chandler: I KNEW it!
48. Ross: They’re still not coming on man! And the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
49. Monica: Fine! Judge all you want but married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, LIVE IN A BOX!
50. Chandler: It’s time to settle down. Make a choice. Pick a lane.
Joey: Who’s Elaine?
